Tag Archive | Life


I’ve often wondered if the career path I have chosen is the right one for me.  I have a bachelor’s in accounting, which I finished even after having my first child.  The only problem is that I can’t seem to get a job with that degree, other than Jackson Hewitt doing taxes (which anyone can do, mind you).  The reasoning from potential employers: “You need more experience.”  Well, my simple (and logical) question is this: How am I supposed to get more experience, if no one will hire me in order to get the experience I need?

I’ve been job hunting for over a year now since I moved from one state to another.  And still nothing.  Same reasoning behind every possibility of a job: I need more experience.  I’m to the point that I’m giving up on this degree that I worked so hard for because it isn’t making me happy.  I’m stressed because I can’t find a job in my field.  And I’m stressed because even just doing taxes during January through April is annoying and stressful and makes me very unhappy.  (They work me to the bone.  7 days a week, 8 hours a day… If not more..)

So, the question on everyone’s mind is this: How do I find a career that makes me happy? What should I do to be happy with the career I think is right for me?

My husband asked me this very question last night and it made me sit and think.  And I admitted to myself that I’m not happy doing this accounting thing, I’m not happy one bit.  So, what do I do?  I started looking into teaching professions.  Since I already have a bachelor’s in something, what’s my next step?  If not full-time teaching, then maybe I should just be a sub.  I would be on call all year and I could still spend time with my kids!  But it had me thinking again, what do I have to do to become a substitute teacher?  Everywhere I look, it just brings be back to getting a degree in teaching.  I’ve been told that I don’t need to do anything to become a sub, just fill out an app at a school.  Is that true?  Is it really that simple?

Honestly, I don’t think so now days.  I feel like every time I find a solution to become happy, I get stumped with another problem.  And these problems I keep facing are driving me crazy and stressing me out to where it affects every aspect of my life (and I mean every aspect).

I wish things in life were simple.  That I could do something that makes me happy and brings in money.  I don’t want a hobby, although that would be the easy way out.  I want a job that doesn’t stress me out and doesn’t cause me to work 50+ hours a week.  I want a job that allows me to spend time with my family and have time to do things, like clean my house.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being a stay-at-home mommy for my kids, but I need something to do, right? Maybe I’ll look into kids books or blogging for cash or crocheting blankets.  Well, we will see after this tax season, wish me luck!

And be happy readers!


Just a Little Rant From Me…

Have you ever been in debt?  I know I certainly am.  It is just those ridiculous loans you take out when you need some cash, FAST.  But in all reality, they suck.  The interest rates are high and most times (like how I am) you can’t afford to make that monthly payment

I will admit, I have a total of 4 loans out (between me and my husband).  Yes, I got married!  He has 1, the others are mine.  They weren’t taken out for us though.  And for whom were they taken out for, you ask.  My father and his 22-year-old girlfriend.  Ugh!  All for us to all move in together and help each other out.  However, that did not happen.  They moved out and left us with all the loans to pay, the bills, and a house payment that we couldn’t afford.  We can’t afford any of it.  My father has ruined my life in the past 9 months, has messed up my credit bad, and keeps delaying paying me money to help me pay off those stupid loans.

But enough ranting.  I had come up with a plan.  A really good, plausible plan.  $100 a week allocated between the 4 loan companies.  This would allow me to pay over the monthly payment for each and get them paid off sooner.  My first weekly payment was due last Friday.  I made the payments, then get told by my dad that he couldn’t pay me the money.  Uh, WHAT?!  He had known about my plan for 2 weeks, 2 WEEKS!  As if $100 a week from his paycheck would hurt him.  I had thought it would be easier than paying me almost $400 from just one check.  But so far, he has made excuses.  Like every person does when they are to pay you back.

Excuse number 1:  I had that week off from when the baby was born.

Excuse number 2:  I had that week off from when I had to fix my truck.

Excuse number 3:  I’ve only worked 19 days total since the baby has been born.

Well, I’m sorry.  Not my fault that you have a lazy girl for a fiance that can’t work.  Not my fault that everytime she freaks out, you abandon your job and go straight home.  These are things that can be fixed with a local job that pays decently. 

He is supposedly supposed to make all this money every week, but hasn’t.  He makes less than we do a month right now.  I’m behind on my loans, my bills, etc.  I have past due things from the house we all had lived in that he should have helped me pay, but alas, he did not.  I pay more in bills than he does.  I struggle on a daily basis. 

So, struggling.  I set a budget for every paycheck we get.  Did you know that I don’t even put food into the budget?  That I’m 2 weeks from my due date and my future months don’t have the baby in the budget either?  I just have bills.  I’m lucky to have put gas for our vehicles in the budget.  And my dad thinks he is struggling.  His “woman” (and I call her this because she is my age, when she is really a girl) gets food stamps.  They are able to get food every month.  We are lucky if we are able to get food.  We make too much money for food stamps, yet we get WIC.

Life, is unknown to us all, and debt is a concept that I wish I had never gotten myself into.  I wish my dad had not had me take out loans as soon as I turned 18.  I wouldn’t be in this mess now at the age of 22.  I would be debt free.  I wouldn’t have taken out a credit card in my name.  I would have exceptional credit.  But of course, life did not go that way for me.  Instead I got a father who instructed me to get loans, credit cards, etc. and ruin my credit, my life, my ability to have extra cash for when I want to go out and spend a lovely evening with my husband.

If I had one wish, it would be that I could go back in time to when I found out I was pregnant and tell my father that we do not want to move in with him.  Then, we wouldn’t be in this mess with the loans.  Then life would be so much more easier.  I would have money, I would have less stress.  But we can’t always get what we want, not even a simple wish as time travel for one simple purpose of saving ourselves from this giant pit we’ve fallen into.  But that’s life.

And life as we know it, is probably not going to get any better.  The only thing that is going to make our life better and happier, is our baby.  Little Alice Belle.  She should be here within the next few weeks, as I am due July 25.  I still haven’t dilated yet, no sign of labor, still closed.  So, possibility is that I may have her late.  I just can’t wait for her to get here, but at the same time, I’m nervous and scared.  I’m stressed out because I don’t have all the things that I need.  I feel like I’m not ready to be a mother, although my husband tells me I will do great.  But we will see when she gets here.

But I am going to leave as I have things to do, people to talk to.  Have a good day everyone, and hopefully a better week than I may have.


I know I haven’t been on in quite some time.. But I have some frustrations with my life. See the house I currently live in costs me a pretty penny and now I’ve got to be out by the end of May. And I still don’t have a house available to move into.

Problem with all this is that I’m 7 moths pregnant and I need a place quick. The Joplin area landlords will not (for some reason) rent to us. We have 2 dog and just don’t wanna get rid of them, they are family. And we want our little girl to grow up with dogs just as we had. What’s so wrong with that? Why won’t people rent to us because we have dogs? They are outside all the time and don’t cause any problems. Why put that you have a large fenced in back yard then put “no dogs allowed” in the ad?? We just don’t understand any of it.

But there is my rant for the day, if not the same one I’ve had for weeks, no months, now… *sigh*

Did You..??

“Did you think that I wouldn’t find out?”

“Find out about what?”

“What you did?”

“What I did?”

“Yes, you know what you did..”

That’s where it ends.  We all know what we do.  We all know that they will find out.  But do we care? No, we act as if we don’t know what they are talking about.  Ever. Plain and simple.

“You know.. You know..” And then tears form as they walk away.


There are things in life that seem to never go how you want them to go.   For me, life is a complicated mess.  I have 2 jobs and go to school full-time.  On top of that I may be an officer for the accounting club that I’m in.  Because of this complication in my life, I have been off of here for quite some time and unable to write.  I know a few good writers who wrote to me telling me that in order to be a good writer, just write everyday.  I’ve tried, and it is quite difficult to do.  So, here I am, attempting to write everyday.

The other day, we had Rent-a-Center come by and take our fridge and living room furniture.  Now, I sit on the floor on a daily basis, every night.  Times are getting worse for me and my dad.  We have this problem where it’s difficult to pay bills, so I have to constantly renew my loans in order to pay bills.  Our rent is way too expensive in my opinion. And things just keep spiraling down that deep dark hole of life.  So what is one supposed to do?  On a daily basis I am looking for a two bedroom house that will allow pets, but 9 times out of 10 they aren’t allowed.

I feel so alone in this big house.  It’s empty and bare.  It doesn’t even feel like a home anymore.  It’s simply a place that I stay at these days.  There are days that I even feel like crying.  Some days I do cry, the tears flow down my cheeks with all the bad leaving with them.  But then the bad things just come right back and therefore, I have to cry again.  I just feel so alone.  I hate having this feeling.

There are days that I regret breaking up with my ex.  It wasn’t just because of his stupidity or anything, but I don’t know.  There are days where I miss him, miss the times of just hanging out and watching TV and cuddling.  He made me feel happy, special.  Valentine’s Day would have been a first with a boyfriend, but I chose to break it off with him, before things got anymore serious than they already were.  I admit, I was scared.  So instead of following that feeling, I ran away from it, not learning and improving it.  Why are there feelings like that?  I want happiness, I want what I read about on a daily basis.  However, we all know those are just fairy tales, so to speak.

I’m scared that the end of humanity is knocking at our doors.  That I will die alone without someone here with me.  And my father doesn’t count, because I know that he will always be there with me, until the end.  I want someone special to be with me.  Do you know how hard it is to find someone like that?  It’s very difficult.  Love just does not exist.  I know this because of the relationships I have seen my dad in.  It’s all pretend with most.  They don’t ever love truly.  Love is a myth, a fairytale, something only in the movies and books.

So on that note, I shall leave my readers–if there are any–something to think about:  Do you believe in love?  Do you believe that life will get better?  Are you afraid of being alone when the so-called end gets here?  You all know my answers on these.